Artwork by Matia Michaelson
Copyright * Star*Quest * Ronna Herman
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Several months ago I said that I would let you know how my silent retreat went. Well here it is (finally)...
June 22, 2010 - June 27, 2010
My silent retreat intention was to unwind, commune with Spirit and just "BE".
I awoke at about 6:00am and after my morning ritual drove to the Portiuncula Center in Frankfort, Illinois arriving around 11:50am. I chose this location because it was about a 2.5 hour drive from where I live and provided privacy. I stayed in the San Damiano Hermitage, which a small one-room cabin.
My Hermitage
When I first arrived I unloaded my car, got settled and set up my altar on the floor next to the east wall of my humble abode. I also cleared the space with a small double terminated crystal and a tuning fork then smudged with sage.
I then took a walk around the area and came upon a labyrinth (based on the labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral in France), which I walked. I focused on love in my heart as I walked the labyrinth. I noticed that walking a labyrinth is like the journey of life - when one approaches a turn (change in life) it helps to navigate around the turn by slowing down, focusing and taking smaller steps. I felt wonderful energies at times as I walked between the lines.
The pattern of Chartres labyrinth
After spending some time at the labyrinth I did some walking meditation by my quarters.
During my 5-day silent retreat I normally meditated (sitting) for 30 to 60 minutes at least twice a day (usually more). I practiced Qi Gong, Tai Chi and walking meditation as well.
There were some very heavy thunder storms during my retreat and sunshine as well. When the sun was out I spent some time basking in the wonderful radiant energy of that golden sphere for 10 to 30 minutes or so, which I found gave me energy.
The fast was not very difficult after the first 24 to 48 hours, but I will say that on the second day I decided that the first thing I would eat after the fast was a banana, so food was on my mind at times. It helped to be isolated. I felt hunger pangs a few times but they subsided quickly.
My dwelling did not have large windows. However, there was a screen door, so I pulled a the rather large meditation chair that was in the cabin to the door so I could sit there looking out at nature as I contemplated, wrote and sketched in my journal. I did some meditation there as well, but most of my meditations were done sitting on a meditation pillow on the floor in front of my altar.
View from my hermitage screen door
At one point on the day 3 I had a severe headache, but it passed. When I awoke for a 4:00am morning meditation I felt good and refreshed.
During the night I had a dream where I was looking at myself up close from the left side (head only) and wondered if I could shift to the front, so I gradually moved around to the front and was pleased that I could do so slowly and look at myself from the front. It was very cool to look at myself that way.
On day 3 I noticed that several times when I closed my eyes I saw what appeared to be the iris and pupil of an eye, or possibly something from outer space. It was different colors at different times. I'm not sure if this was physiological from not eating or something else. When I tried to do it I couldn't see the image, as if it had to be spontaneous.
I found that the longer I fasted the less inclined I was to drink. I expected the opposite - that I would want to drink a lot of water to make up for not eating.
I noticed that my energy level was getting lower as the days went on, which surprised me because from what I have read, fasting normally energizes a person. Perhaps it was because I was drinking the lemon water with cayenne pepper and water with raw apple cider (as a cleanse) rather than plain water. By the fourth day my energy level was extremely low and my movements were very deliberate and mindful. A few times I went back to bed after my early morning meditation because I was tired. I also noticed that it was very easy to feel my heart beating, possibly because my mind was quieter. Also, the images I saw when I closed my eyes became more prevalent the longer I fasted. On the fourth day I saw a beautiful violet colored circular shape within another color. I was drawn to the violet, because it was so beautiful. The shapes and colors were dynamic and kept moving and changing as I watched them.
My energy level was very low by day 3. I didn't even feel like doing Tai Chi, Qi Gong or a walking meditation (but did some anyway), just sitting meditation. It seemed like even my thoughts were slowing down.
I received a brief message from Lord Melchizedek on day 3 telling me that I was being prepared for something.
By day 4 I was feeling very lethargic, taking a lot of energy to do simple things. I would get dizzy when I got up and needed to take a moment or two to stabilize before moving.
At 7:50pm on day 4 I got a burst of energy. I'm not sure where it came from. I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to get to sleep due to the energy. I went to bed around 9:00pm, but didn't get to sleep until around 10:00pm. When I got up to go to the bathroom during the night in the darkness I saw the images with my eyes opened that I had previously seen with my eyes closed.
In one of my dreams on day 5 I was levitating, floating along at will in public where people could see me. It was like I was riding a skate board, but I was standing on thin air. While it was happening I was sure that it wasn't a dream - that I was actually doing it in a waking state. It always feels wonderful when I have those flying/floating dreams.
Recap - Short Version
I fasted for five plus days, but did drink lemon water with cayenne pepper as well as water and a little (3-4 tablespoons) raw apple cider at times for cleansing. I spent most of my time (10 to 12 hours a day) sitting in a chair looking out my hermitage screen door, contemplating, journaling, sketching and meditating. I normally keep very busy, so I was surprised that I could just sit and 'be' for hours during my 5-day retreat. I wanted to do more walking meditation, Qi Gong and Tai Chi, but there were too many mosquitoes most of the time and I didn't have the energy the last two or three days either.
By day 5 I felt like I had just completed a marathon. I was weak and my leg muscles were sore. The sore leg muscles surprised me, because I had been doing less physical activity than normal.
I found that talking to myself was one of the most difficult things to stop. About once a day I would find myself saying something to myself out loud.
This 5-day silent retreat was a wonderful experience. Henceforth I intend to treat myself to a retreat periodically.
With love and blessings,
Randy
P.S. I Intend to resume sending a periodic Melchizedek message soon, however it will most likely not be monthly.
Your support and interest in Lord Melchizedek’s monthly messages is greatly appreciated!
I began taking my first steps as a teacher on a larger scale toward the end of 2006. Since that time is seems like I have had a never ending stream of projects and commitments occupying my time. Don’t get me wrong, this is a passion for me, and I love what I do. At the same time I’ve learned that I need to pace myself, take on appropriate projects, and take time to rest and renew.
As I’ve become more awake and aware I have learned that I have many talents and can do things that I previously had not considered. Because of this, along with my faith in myself, as well as knowing that I have the support of my spiritual team, I sometimes take on more than I should, which throws me off center. This scatters my energy in too many directions.
It is time for me to establish more balance. With that in mind I intend to suspend the Melchizedek Monthly messages for awhile, and be more discerning with the projects I undertake. How long will that be? I don’t know. I do know that I will be guided by Spirit when the time is right. I will continue to bring through messages from Lord Melchizedek; however, I will not publish them until I am guided to do so again. Delivering the appropriate message each month has been somewhat stressful; therefore I intend to bring them through without the urgency of meeting a deadline – for awhile.
I’m going to take a 5-day silent, self-directed retreat later this month, to quiet my mind and connect with my soul on a deeper level. I intend to remove myself from the visual, auditory and mental stimuli of society, and go within for awhile. I’ll be staying in a small one-room hermitage, living the life of a hermit for five days. I won’t be answering emails or phone calls, talking to anyone or listening to anyone – except God, my higher self, and beings of Light. I am just going to BE for a few days. Wow, I wonder what that will be like. I’ll let you know.
Over the last few years I have pared down “things” in my life. I don’t have a TV, and I’ve gotten rid of many of my possessions. I moved quite a few times and with each move I let go of more “stuff.” Now it is time to let go of another kind of “stuff” – mental “stuff” – ergo the retreat.
I have reached a plateau and feel like I am about to make a quantum leap. I don’t know where it will take me, but I sense that I it is important to have a hiatus, to rest my body as well as my mind, as I build strength for what is to come.
I send you love, blessings and wish you good fortune.
With deep love,
Randy
P.S. For those of you on the Lord Melchizedek email list I may send a periodic email to keep you posted on what is happening on my journey, and let you know when the monthly messages will resume.
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